Entranced

To be entranced: to have a hole rent in oneself through which others may proceed.

Fear belongs to me, and I mean this per se
as you like to say:

I chose to fear the day that the sushi place on
Aurora and two hundred and whatever (S)
closed it doors

not because I am irrational
(even though I am; I know that e.g. you
are dismissing me already but the point
is not that I am rational but rather
that my fear does not descend specifically from my irrationality)
but because fear is a convenient way of protecting something
without making any specific claim of ownership.

As in choice of girlfriends and particular seats at coffee shops,
fear is not a weakness but a language of belonging:
fear performed as ee gee anger or snotted tissue
left to create a force field shaped like

me

who by now knows better than to underestimate
the range of coffee shop folks’ tolerance for disgusting objects.

Their sushi, my personal favorite.

속아도 꿈결: “Even if to be deceived, to be entranced.”